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The Private Life of Clark Kent The Private Life of Clark Kent The Private Life of Clark Kent The Private Life of Clark Kent The Private Life of Clark Kent
The Strips

Martian Manhunter & J. Hex New!

Superman and The Flash New!

Justice League of America

Jonah Hex

Green Lantern


Green Arrow and The Flash


The Flash


Gotham City Police Dept.

Johnny Thunder and Shazam!

Batman, Green Lantern,
and The Flash


Metal Men

Pete Ross and Lana Lang

Superman & J'onn J'onzz

Charles M. Jones

Batman and Robin

The Flash and Zatanna

Jor-El and Lara

DC Prez Jenette Kahn


Clark Kent and Lois Lane

The Haunted Tank

Superman and Lois Lane

The Unknown Soldier

The Vigilante

The Private Life of Clark Kent

Green Arrow and Black Canary

Sgt. Rock and Easy Company

Witching Hour

Green Arrow, The Human Target,
and Superman

Super Friends

Lois & Clark

Green Arrow & Black Canary

Superman & Jimmy Olsen


Batman & Shazam!

Justice Society of America

Phantom Stranger and
Phantom Girl

Batman and Robin

Black Lightning

Private Life of Clark Kent

Green Arrow and The Warlord

Eclipso / Mr. Mxyzptlk

The Flash & Adam Strange


Lightning Lad & Chameleon Boy

Justice League of America

Wonder Woman

Zatanna and Professor Zoom

Firestorm, the Nuclear Man

Swamp Thing

Gotham City Police Dept.

Bizarro World

The Atom

The Flash and The Mirror Master


The Batman and the Joker

Lex Luthor and Brainiac

The Flash

Enemy Ace

Green Arrow & Black Canary

Hawkman & the Flash

The Phantom Stranger

Legion of Super-Heroes

Green Lantern


Batman and Red Tornado

Green Lantern and the Flash

The Creeper

Robin, the Boy Wonder

Justice League of America

Legion of Super-Heroes

Elongated Man and Plastic Man

Superman Family

The Flash and the Spectre

Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen


Hawkman & Hawkgirl


Wildcat & Dr. Fate

Batman & Robin


Plastic Man

Bob 'Answer Man' Rozakis

Batman & the Flash

Green Arrow & Green Lantern

The Atom

Batman & Robin

Coming soon

Jimmy Olsen & Lois Lane

Steve Trevor


Steve Savage

The Flash

Johnny Thunder

Sgt. Rock & Easy Company


Johnny Cloud

Green Lantern

Lois, Clark & Jimmy

Plastic Man

Perry White & Jimmy Olsen

Martian Manhunter

Madame Xanadu

Bruce Wayne


Swamp Thing

Fred Hembeck

The Private Life of Clark Kent
Uploaded January 1, 2002

Superman's Boss

See Superman's Boss.
His name is Perry.
Perry is the editor of The Daily Planet.
Edit, Perry, edit.
Perry yells a lot.
Why does he yell?
One of his two star reporters is a mild-mannered milksop who's never around, and the other is constantly throwing herself out of windows in order to get a date for Friday night.
Plus there's a snot-nosed punk kid constantly calling him 'Chief'.
Wouldn't you yell a lot, too?


See the sports anchor for the WGBS Evening News.
His name is Steve.
Steve is a jerk.
A loud-mouthed, obnoxious, practical joke playing, ex-jock jerk.
In other words, he is a stereotype.
Stereotype, stereotype, stereotype.
Steve is also a bully.
He targets Clark because he knows that Clark won't fight back.
Wimp, wimp, wimp.
No wonder Lois never gave him a tumble.

Superman's Galpal

See Superman's Friday night girl.
Her name is Lois.
She is a frustrated woman.
Frustrated, frustrated, frustrated.
Why is she frustrated?
After all, she has a good job, lots of respect, and potential love interests falling all over themselves to go out with her.
Everyone should she be so lucky.
Unfortunately - and with all due apologies to Larry Niven and John Gray - Men are from Krypton, and Women Are Made of Kleenex.

Superman's Sycophant

See Superman's best friend.
No, not Krypto - the one with the bowtie.
His name is Jimmy.
Jimmy chases news stories to become a reporter.
Scoop, Jimmy, scoop.
Jimmy calls himself 'Mr. Action'.
His girlfriend Lucy doubtlessly begs to differ.
Jimmy also has a sub-sonic signal watch that Superman gave him for emergencies.
Zee, zee, zee.
Someday, Superman is going to grind Jimmy into paste for giving him one too many migraines.

Superman's Alter Ego

See the nebbish in the drab blue suit.
His name is Clark.
His foster mother named him after her maiden name.
Or maybe after a candy bar.
Clark is a reporter and news anchorman.
This means that millions of people read and hear him every day.
All of them supposedly fooled by a different outfit, a different part, and a prescription-free pair of glasses.
There is a word that describes people like this.
Idiots, idiots, idiots.

Superman's Id

This is Superman's id.
The id is the part of the psyche that is totally unconscious and is the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs.
Superman's id is very repressed.
His boss and co-workers mock and ridicule him.
He can't consummate a relationship with a woman.
(Of the two people who can keep up with him physically, one's a family member, and the other one is an Amazon princess who's into ropes and chains. Talk about intimidation.)
The rest of the super-human community keeps insisting that he set a good example for everyone else.
No wonder that he likes to hide out in the Arctic.

(Apologies to Paula Smith and Phil Foglio.)

- NP

The copyrights, trademarks and publication rights to Fred's cartoons belong to DC Comics, Marvel Comics, and Fred Hembeck where appropriate. Proud Robot Productions graphics, site design, cartoon re-coloring and commentary copyrights belong to Neil Polowin and Proud Robot Productions.

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